A brief moment

As I stand beside the bleachers watching a baseball game on a hot summer day in Greenville B.C where my mom was born and grew up I hear her voice. "Ilene" Her voice is soo clear, so strong.. I look to my left past some people I'm standing with and I see her! She's wearing a blue tank top and blue jeans. Her black hair is down and her bangs are curled, some curled up, and some curled down the way she used to always have them..
"Mom!?" I reply as I walk through the small crown of people I'm with, towards her on the dirt road. "Guys! It's my mom! She's alive! I knew it, I knew you were alive still" I say as I'm practically jumping up and down as I get close to her.
 "Ilene, I have to talk to you.. I don't have much time" She says with a very serious voice. I finally reach her and we embrace! She's shorter than me. I feel her thick soft hair on my right cheek, I feel her arms around me. It's like I'm hugging myself, a shorter version of myself. "Mommy! I knew you were alive. I missed you soo much!" I tell her as I squeeze her so tight, almost as tight as she's holding me. Then she grabs my shoulders and pushes me about arms length away from her. "Ilene I have to say something".. She says a little more sternly, as she looks directly into my eyes. I can't believe I'm looking into her eyes, I think. I don't speak, i just look at her.
 "It's time for you to change, it's time to stop everything you're doing that's holding you back" She says, as she's now holding my face in her hands. "What?"  I say.
I can't believe after all these years this is what she's saying to me!? Not I miss you too honey, or I love you... It's time to stop what I'm doing...  Seriously what does she know?
 "Mom what are you talking about?" I ask her. "Ilene, the drinking, the drugs, and everything on top of that. It's time to stop, it's time to change" She says as she's moving her hands while still holding my face. She pulls me close again and kisses my cheek, and whispers in my ear "I love you, make me proud. I have to go now".
 "NO, what!? You can't leave me!" I belt out louder than I mean to. She looks at me again and still in a whisper she says "You can do this, I love you" then she kisses me, lets me go and walks away. "Mommy!"

 Suddenly I'm in my room at my birth dad's place, in my bed. It was a dream!! It was all a freakin dream. I start crying, crying so hard that my stomach hurts. I roll over and and go under the covers, close my eyes and beg God to let me fall back asleep to see her again. She's gone. I can't sleep. But I felt her, I heard her voice, I looked into her eyes. I felt her! She came to me. She came to me for the first time since she left, to give me a message.

 When I had this dream I was 21 and living a very carefree lifestyle. I didn't care about other people or what they thought of me and the things I was doing to myself and to others. And it must have been pretty serious for my mom to come to me and tell me to straighten myself out. I really believe God sent her to me to give me that message. I don't know how, but it was her. There were many friends and family telling to slow down, to take care of myself. I didn't listen to them, I'd get defensive and angry when they'd try and tell me how to live my life. And After this dream I didn't change right away... It still took a few years, but I did slow down. And I never forgot her words. God knew she was the only one I'd listen to, so he gave me a brief moment with her. A brief moment I'll cherish forever!